Tired Of Pretending
by MissGleeLover
Summary: She came back, now she'll have to explain why she really left
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. *sighs and cries***

_Tired of Pretending_

_It was cold when the plane landed in Dayton; she got her luggage and walked towards the meeting area buried in her own thoughts the entire time, once there she sat down and waited, until she saw those familiar figures waving and smiling, she returned the smile but the joy didn't reach her eyes, her dads could see the fear in them, the worry, the shame, the regret and the pain. It was the first time, in the almost three years now, she´d come home, she felt stronger , she felt ready( ok that was a lie, she felt terrified)but ready or not it was time to make everything right again. The ride back to home, her dads asking her about Chicago and college her apartment , her dating life (totally nonexistent, she couldn't date another boy after having HIM), her mind was in another place , her mind was wondering what would happen once she face a certain tall brown eyed boy._

_He pulled up the zip of his jacket protecting himself from the cold. The snow was everywhere and the house was quiet, Kurt was asleep, his mom and Burt too, leaving him alone in the front porch just thinking. He knew she would be there in a couple hours, all loud and pushy, nothing weird coming from Coleen that's why he got up early after tossing in bed all night , this was his time, the few moments of the day when he could just relax and let his mind to drift off ... to her. Things have been hard, he´s still hurt, but she never left his mind or his heart she's always there in everything he did, everything he listened to, all around him but then he has to get back to reality he has to get back to Coleen. Coleen was sort of a nice girl, he didn´t want to be alone but she just wasn't her. The phone rang startling him from his thoughts about a certain petite brunette. _

_-_Hello?

-Hi Finn, is Kurt around?- _Blaine's uneasy voice said from the other end._

- He's asleep, but wait I have to wake him up anyway so hang on.-

_He ran upstairs and knocked on Kurt's room, he opened the door to find his brother half awake trying to sit in his bed. _

-Dude, Blaine's on the phone- _He handed over the phone and waited _

- Hello? What is it? Wait calm down babe I can't understand a single thing- _Kurt's eyes went really wide- _WHAT? You've got to be kidding me…-_Then he realized Finn was still in the room, leaned against the door frame. Kurt put the phone to his shoulder a minute, and Finn was able to hear Blaine going on a rant about something, he was clearly freaking out._

-You think you could give us a minute? He's really upset about something-

-Sure, is everything ok?

-Yeah, he needs to get it out of his system

-Alright, I'm going to get started on breakfast-

-Good. I'll be down on a sec to help you.

_Finn disappeared from his brother's room leaving him alone so he could talk to his boyfriend, he had no idea that what they were talking about totally concerned him. _

_Back in his room Kurt was trying to keep his voice down but the information he just received was too much to process in silence. _

-You know for sure she's back?

-I'm telling you babe, when my parents went to pick my sister up from the airport, they saw her , they told me that they saw a friend of mine, short loud brunette with two dads ? That's Rachel for sure.-

-Oh God. I have to see her, what do I do ? Should I tell him ?, I just can't believe she's here.

- Look sweetie I know you want to tell him so bad, because you know well we all know that they're dying without each other, but I really think you should wait until you see her , what if she's not ready to see Finn ?

-You're probably right love, I need to see her , I need to talk to her.-

- I get you Kurt just wait , I want to see her too. She needs time…-

- Yeah, Got to go gorgeous, talk to you later, Love you.

-Alright sexy , love you, see you soon.-

_Kurt put the phone down, and sighed , he knew he real reason why Rachel left, he'd been keeping the secret all this time from everyone even Blaine. He, Mercedes and Santana were the only ones who knew the real story, all of them have had a really hard time keeping the secret, especially from Finn, when he looked so devastated that they really thought they were going to lose him. It hadn't been easy but they managed to get him by, he finally looked like he had moved on. Except for Blaine and Kurt , who always talk to him , and knew it was just an image Finn put on for everyone else, but not with them he could be himself with them, they allowed him to grieve, to cry and be mad , when everyone else even Puck, Artie and Sam who pressured him to get back into dating. But that image was crashing, when Finn started dating Coleen (or that Fugly bitch as Mercedes and Brittany like to call her) It became obvious to at least all the close friends that Finn hadn't forgot Rachel, But it was also clear for those kept in touch with Rachel, she wasn't over Finn also, as much as she tried to deny it. She was just as in love as three years ago. But she'd decided to leave and she had to pretend to be just fine without Finn, even though it killed her inside she had to convince everyone she was free and alright. But she didn't fool him or Mercedes neither Blaine believed her, they knew better. After making sure Blaine made Mercedes aware of the situation, he went downstairs to help his brother to make breakfast, while trying not to explode and tell him the truth right then and then. _

_Oh boy , this was going to be interesting._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee (If I did ... oh God if I did) **

Tired Of Pretending

-**So is SHE coming over? - ** A very unenthusiastic Kurt asked.

-**Yeah, she should be here any minute.- **

**-I just don't get what you are doing with someone like her-**

**-She's nice Kurt; she's easy to be around with-**

**-No she's not, she doesn't make you happy anyway, and you could do so much better Finn-**

**- Kurt I don't want to be alone anymore- **A very serious Finn stated turning over to see Kurt in the eyes.

**- For God's sake Finn, you wouldn't be alone, there are tons of girls out there, and still it's way too soon to figure out who you're going to spend your life with-**

**- There could be a million girls on Lima Kurt, but none of them is her - **

_Kurt knew he wasn't talking about Coleen, there was a little silence after that statement, he was a little shock, it had been a while since Finn last mentioned Rachel, he saw it as a sign_

**-So you are basically saying you still have feelings for Rachel?**

**- I… I don't know bro, I thought they weren't there anymore, but I guess I still feel for her-**

**- ****C'mon you can tell me I'm your brother. What are you feeling now?-**

**- I love her. I freaking love her so much it hurts ok? –** A very defeated Finn admitted looking down

Kurt walked over to his brother and put a hand over his shoulder and squeezed it

**-It's ok Finn I get it; you don't have to pretend with me, everything will be fine- **

**- How do you know? She's God's knows where living her life and who know maybe with someone- **

**- I just know Finn. When something is that's strong as what you had is doesn't go away that easy. You know I keep in touch in her, I know where she is, and I know how she's doing…-**

**-How's who doing? – **A blond skinny fragile figure asked coming into the kitchen shaking off the snow

**-Oh just an aunt of ours – **Kurt answered quickly**-** **We were talking about visit her before holidays-** He saw Coleen's eyes light up and he almost saw her thoughts of proposing she go with them**- ** **You know just some Brother road trip- ** He rushed to answer half hugging Finn with his arm, Coleen closed her mouth.

_Finn was very confused, between admitting his feelings for Rachel, Kurt lying, and trying to figure out where that confession put him and Coleen now. _

He shook his head and made a mental note of thinking about that later. Coleen walked over to him and tiptoed to say hi to him

**-Hi – **She said in a flirty tone – **I've been missing you- **

**- Hey, yeah me too- **

And just as she puckered and aimed her lips, he moved his face and her lips crashed against his cheek, Coleen frowned

-**Finnie! I wanted a kiss! What's wrong with you? - ** She said in her oh so annoying pitchy tone that Kurt, well everyone hated so much in her five year old like way. Kurt raised a skillet and aimed to her head joking with Finn, he widened his eyes and just before Coleen could look back to see everything Kurt put it down.

** - It wasn't on purpose Coleen! Jeez you're so dramatic. - ** He said trying to get out of the conversation; the truth was he moved his head on purpose. 

- **Well we are in some cranky mood today, aren't we? - ** Coleen stepped back and looked at Finn very angry

**- I'm just fine thank you, I think you should go home now, it's impossible to be around you when you're like this-**

**- I'll be expecting your call to apologize Finneas.-**

**- Alright- **Finn she said as she walked out the house

**- Oh yeah, she is a sweetheart to be around- **Kurt said.

**-God, how do I get out of this one? – **

**- You mean as how do you get rid of her, it's pretty easy you see-**

**- No! I mean, she's expecting me to apologize and I'm tired of begging her- **Finn interrupted 

**- You shouldn't Finn; I mean you just said…**

**- I know what I just said Kurt- **Finn stated abruptly

**- What I'm trying to say here, it's that you do love someone else, not just feelings you love her-**

**- But the thing here is I'm not going to act on it you know why? That someone else is not here, that someone else left me!- **

_Oh If I told you dear brother_ Kurt thought

**-Finn we are not going down that path, it's not like you can ignore it, and the most important part is; it's not fair to you or Coleen.- **

**- I hate when you're right.-**

_He was going to have to break up with her, he was scared he has to own up to his feelings and do the right thing, as for the Rachel part he wasn't sure he wanted to get to get over it, this was probably the most confusing part of it all, something inside told him not to fight those feelings. But that was something he would had to think really hard about before facing. _

Little did he know he would have to face them a lot sooner than expected soon after a few questions were answered and some revelations were made...

Kurt on the other hand couldn't wait for this to be over, and for them to be together again and everything to be right again. Damn he had to say it, he missed _Finchel._ Seeing two peopled he loved so much suffering in silence upset him, he knew the thoughts of most of the people around them were similar to his own. All it would take was Rachel willing to come forward with the absolute truth and Finn willing to forgive her for leaving the way she did. He was sure about their feelings; he just knew they both each loved other past the point of simple school sweethearts. They just had to remember was it was that brought them together, what it made them realize they couldn't be without each other. He was aware of their stubbornness about the subject, why they couldn't just acknowledge the fact that they couldn't live one without the other? He just hoped they both realize all of this soon, very soon. 

**.-FinchelForever-Monchele4Life-**

**Let me know what you think !**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee(because if I did Finn would've stopped the train and Kurt would got into NYADA)**

_Tired of Pretending_

He got off his car, walked to the familiar porch and knocked on the door .

**- What are you doing here? –** the petite brunette asked looking scared

_**-**_** Well hello to you too Rachel, how have you been? I've been doing fine- **He said in an upset tone.

**-Hi Kurt, I'm sorry, look I was going to call you, let you know that I am here but…**

**- Rach, it's okay I get it- **

The two friends hugged close for a while until she stepped aside to let him into the house.

**-How did you found out?- **she said.

**- Well a little bird told me…-**

**-I'm guessing a little warbler maybe-**

**-Well yeah Blaine told me that his parents had spotted you on the airport-**

**-Oh Kurt, I wanted to see you bad. How have you been?-**

**- I'm good Rach, but if it's not rude to ask, and if it is I don't care, I'm your best friend, Why are you here?- **He looked her in the eyes.

**- Vacations, why else would I be here?-**

**-Really?- ** Kurt said with a skeptic look

**- Really. Believe it or not I've missed Lima-**

**-And you missing Lima so much doesn't have anything to do with certain ridiculously tal, unable to dance brother of mine?- **

**-C'mon Kurt, you know that…-**

**-You haven't been home in 2 years! You can't expect me to believe you just decided to stop by-**

**-Okay I've been afraid to come down so I just stopped over thinking about and got in a plane-**

**-Okay let's pretend I buy that for a second-**

**-Come on Kurt, stop it was a long time ago, we're both over it-**

**-Yeah right, and Lima is the fashion capital of the world-** He looked at her- **You know you don't lie to me **

She nodded silently

**-Blaine has been dying to see you, Mercedes too-**

**-I missed you guys so much, you have no idea-**

**-We love you remember? We're your friends you don't have to pretend with us…-**

He saw Rachel's eyes get teary

**-I love him Kurt… I still do, I really love him-** She said drying off the first tears

**-It's okay sweetie –** He said squeezing her shoulder**- it's all going to be okay-**

**-Is he mad at me ?- **She said looking at him

**- You know he can't be mad at you, but he's… –**Kurt sighed**- Hurt**

**-That's even worst- **she said breaking down-** if he was mad I could take it, he is in full right to be mad, but I hurt him? You know how much that much that kills me?-**

**-Rach it's okay, you didn't meant to hurt him, you left because you wanted him to do better-**

**-How is he doing?-**

**- Well he started acting school, he is in UCLA , after you left he was so mad he packed his bags and took the first flight to California- **

**Her heart felt crushed, she had really messed it up.**

**-o-o-o-o-o**

He was staring out his bedroom window, doing deep thinking. Where were Coleen and him now? Why he suddenly didn't wanted to fight his feelings for Rachel ?

He loved her, but he was sick of feeling like this, incomplete, it was like his arm or his leg was missing…

Before this pretending to be fine it was kind of working out, ok it totally sucked, but at least that pain…numbed him. He missed the quiet late nights, both in each other's arms no word needed to be said, it felt so peaceful, so right.

When senior year came around, he had it all figured out; they would get in college, move to New York, he would proposed in New Year's eve with her dads, his mom and Burt there, she would say yes, they'd get married back in Lima… Sounded perfect, it was supposed to be perfect. To top what it had to be an amazing year , the prom was fantastic, he had never seen her look so beautiful, the graduation ceremony was just amazing..

And then Rachel said that they needed to talk , he felt so devastated. That summer he just didn't wanted to be in Ohio, every corner had memories, every movie, he hated it. He signed up for some courses and then his ticket out of Lima appeared: an admission letter from UCLA came in, he forgot he'd even applied.

He packed up everything he could and when no one was watching he put the only keepsake of her he could take in his back pack… The first year went pretty fast. It hurt, sure but his classes kept him occupied, he came back for the holidays. That was the first time since he'd gone away he allowed himself to breakdown…

He thought the house was empty, his mom and Burt were gone and Kurt was nowhere to be found.

Finn went to his closet , moved some blankets and other stuff and found it. An old metal box where he kept all the Rachel's keepsakes he just wasn't strong enough to throw away.

He found a Polaroid picture of them , it was his favorite, Blaine had taken it when they were leaving for prom. They were looking at each other's eyes, and they just fit, it was just fucking perfect…

Also he ran into a track mix with some of New Direction's, of course he had a lot of these but this one was really close to him, it was all of their songs he put it on and let the memories hit him.

She vanished from his life… Finn felt lost, ruined, worthless. He was on the floor by his bed now, it hurt too much to be standing, the tears were streaming down his face now, Kurt came in.

**-Do you want, Jesus that's loud!.. Finn? Finn are you okay?-**

Kurt knelt down next to his brother, took him into his arms and listened to him cry over the love of his life.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o**


End file.
